We take on one of the biggest debates regarding engagement rings this week: Should you be expected to buy your own engagement ring?
A survey released in the UK this week has revealed that 1 in 5 women are happy to buy their own engagement ring. DCLA's Sasha Gusain and Belle Tayler face-off in a debate about whether or not you should be expected to pay for your own engagement ring.
Belle says "Yes, You Should Buy Your Own Engagement Ring!"
It's 2014. If we're still pretending that women are just like they were in the 1950s, then something's seriously wrong. Marriage is less of an institution than it used to be. Women no longer have to wait to be 'surprised' by a proposal as they are usually involved 50/50 in the discussion about life together. It should definitely follow that two equal partners should be able to contribute to the engagement ring. Especially when average amounts spent on engagement rings is 3 week's salary, that's no small investment that should be shouldered by one partner alone!
Another benefit to buying your own engagement ring is getting involved in the style. What if you were proposed to with a ring that wasn't in your style at all? What if you had had your heart set on a princess-cut solitaire and your beloved went with a round-brilliant bezel? Choosing to be part of the engagement ring buying process means that you get a say in what style you want to wear on your left hand the rest of your life.
Buying your engagement ring - or at least, going halves - seems like a sensible way to ensure that both partners are fully committed to making the marriage an equal partnership. Never a bad thing!
Sasha says "It Isn't About Who Should Buy the Ring or How Expensive It Is, It's About a Special Moment!"
Who should pay for the engagement ring? This isn’t a new debate, and certainly not one that’ll be resolved soon. If you want to give someone something, you ‘give’ someone something. How utterly sad it would be to plan a romantic proposal only to leave the bill in the ring box.
Then there is the question of choice. If you’re paying for that rock, don’t you want to choose the one you love best? And then out go the elements of surprise, romance, speeches, tears, expressions of love…however cliché (or ironic, if you’re a hipster). Or maybe you're a diehard romantic like some of us and want to wear the ring that was carefully selected for you. Big, small, flashy, simple, diamonds, gold, silver, emeralds,...the ring that your better half handpicked for you, whatever it may be - bringing in no question of cash and cheques to spoil the moment.
Of course, some might hail the otherwise legitimate cause of gender equality. But before they embark on that nice little road toward pseudo liberation, stop them and ask: “Why do you assume that it’s the man proposing?”